Faraway, So Close (English Version)
by Patricia Emy
Summary: Mulder's thoughts on the events of "Trust No 1".


Author: Patricia Emy  
E-mail: patricia_emy@yahoo.com  
Category: Post-Episode, Vignette, Angst, Mulder POV  
Rating: G  
Spoilers: Trust No 1, Existence  
Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully and John Doggett belong to Chris Carter,   
1013 Productions and 20th Century Fox. No infringement of any copyright laws is   
intended.  
  
Summary: Mulder's thoughts on the events of "Trust No 1".  
  
Author's note: I wrote this story based on spoilers for the episode so there may   
be some inaccuracies when compared to what was aired – yeah, this is an old   
piece. Some dialogues from "Existence" where reproduced here without permission.   
And, just for the record, English is not my first language so there may be some   
mistakes. Let me know if you find any.  
  
  
  
Faraway, So Close  
  
  
  
Unknown location  
January, 2002  
  
  
Only a few hours ago, I saw your face.  
  
I could hear your voice, calling my name. I wish I could come back, but I   
couldn't. There's so much at stake, so much more to lose. Even that, for a   
moment, all that mattered was seeing you again.  
  
  
  
"All the sacrifice, the blood spilled -- you've given nearly a decade of your   
life. Where the hell is it all going to end?"   
  
"I don't know. Maybe it doesn't."   
  
  
  
Doggett's words came back to me. At this point, one would ask himself if all of   
it was ever worth it.   
  
It's been almost ten years, and all that I have left are moments. Moments that I   
relive in my memory, all that I allow myself to dream about.   
  
It's like as if I could smell your perfume, experience the heat of your skin   
against mine, the feel of your hair going through my fingers, the touch of your   
lips, the sound of your voice, the tender expression on your face while you're   
asleep next to me.   
  
I cling to them as I cling myself to my own sanity.  
  
I don't wanna quit now. Not now that I have a new reason to fight for.   
  
I have you. I have a son who needs a father.  
  
It's weird to think that sometimes we become aware of what really matters   
through things we don't give much importance.   
  
Simple things, like an old movie, a pizza and some beers on a Friday night.  
  
And I realize I could even get used to the idea. As if I could allow myself to   
dream about a normal life, to share it with someone. To live one day at a time.   
  
I know that these are only dreams. Others would say, from a less romantic point   
of view, that it's nothing but stress, or loneliness.   
  
I don't believe in it. I never did.   
  
If we got here, is because there's something more.  
  
Today I ask myself why I didn't realize it before, why I didn't see you like I   
see you now. So much time lost. So much time wasted because we were afraid.   
Afraid of our feelings, of ourselves. I believe we had made the right choice,   
whatever had happened along the way, whatever had brought us here, to the point   
beyond the friendship and the trust that already existed between us. If not for   
that maybe we wouldn't have taken that step.   
  
I took your hand, extended to me in a silent invitation, willing to go wherever  
you wanted me to go with you.   
  
"Stay", your eyes spoke to me.  
  
Nothing else mattered.  
  
Faraway, so close.  
  
The song on the radio said it all, I thought.  
  
That music was the only thing that broke the silence inside that room I was   
stuck at in a motel on the side of a road cutting through a place that wasn't on   
the map.   
  
My eyes ran through the screen of the notebook right before the click of the   
mouse sends the message to your mailbox.   
  
What we feared were the possibilities.  
  
The truth?  
  
We both knew.  
  
  
  
END  
  
-------  
  
  
Stay (Faraway, So Close)  
Performed by: U2  
Album: Zooropa  
  
Green light, Seven Eleven  
You stop in for a pack of cigarettes  
You don't smoke, don't even want to  
Hey now - check your change  
  
Dressed up like a car crash  
The wheels are turning by you're upside down  
You say when he hits you, you don't mind  
Because when he hurts you, you feel alive  
Oh no  
Is that what it was?  
  
Red light, grey morning  
You stumble out of a hole in the ground  
A vampire or a victim  
It depends on who's around  
You used to stay in to what the adverts  
You could lip synch to the talk shows  
  
And if you look, you look through me  
And when you talk, you talk at me  
And when I touch you, you don't feel a thing  
  
If I could stay  
Then the night would give you up  
Stay, and the day would keep its trust  
Stay, and the night would be enough  
Faraway, so close  
Up with the static and the radio  
With satellite and television  
You can go anywhere  
Miami,  
New Orleans,  
London, Belfast and Berlin  
And if you listen, I can't call  
And if you jump, you just might fall  
And if you shout, I'll only hear you  
  
If I could stay  
Then the night would give you up  
Stay, and the day would keep its trust  
Stay, with the demons that you drowned  
Stay with the spirit that I've found  
Stay and the night would be enough  
  
Three o'clock in the morning  
It's quiet and there's no one around  
Just the bang and the clatter  
As an angel runs to the ground  
Just the bang and the clatter  
As an angel hits the ground 


End file.
